Host parents refuse to provide enough food for 19-year-old live-in nanny, throw a fit when she starts buying her own snacks: "[She said] I had a lot of audacity denying her kids food inside her home"

Author image for Ely Bulnes
Ely Bulnes • Writer and Editor
May 16, 2025 5:00 PM EDT

I've always prided myself in being a very attentive and engaged babysitter. I've always done my absolute best to be entertaining enough to kids to keep them away from screens, and I myself am minimally on my phone when I'm in childcare mode. I really love children, and I find that playing with and taking care of them brings me back to a really fun and imaginative mindset. I can't lie, though. The best babysitting experiences were the ones where parents needed someone in their house during a date night. Maybe I'm just lucky, but the parents I babysat for usually ordered me dinner and gave me full access to their snack cabinets. As much as I love kids, lounging on a couch for cash beats trying to help a toddler regulate their big emotions.
In our story today, a young au pair gets a whole cabinet of snacks to herself. However, it barely has anything in it, and she's not allowed to eat anything else in the house. Starving, she starts buying her own food, only to be reprimanded by her controlling host. 

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  • 01

    AITA for refusing to let my boss's kids eat my food?

    "I would share mine if they shared theirs."
    via cottonbro studio from Pexels

    This image is for illustration only, and the subjects are models; the image does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 02
    In february, i (19f) arrived in the US as an au pair. If you don't know how the program works, basicaly you're hired as a nanny but you're not paid a lot (i get $196 per week), because the family gives you a place to stay and food (in their house), and they also pay for your studies (up to $500).
    via u/Remote-Narwhal5726
  • 03
    It was the only way i could afford to have the exchange experience, and i really wanted to take this chance, so i came. The two kids i take care of are great, we talk a lot and i already learned so much from them, the problem i have its with their parents.
    via u/Remote-Narwhal5726
  • 04
    HONE
    via pixelshot

    This image is for illustration only, and the subjects are models; the image does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 05
    Since i arrived, they told me that i'm only allowed to eat the itens from one cabinet, nothing else, and they will only repleanish once a month, and they have cameras and will see if i try anything - i don't
    via u/Remote-Narwhal5726
  • 06
    know if this is true but i woulndt steal anyway. In my cabinet they just put tortillas, a few canned vegetables, beans and mac and cheese boxes. No snacks, drinks, cheese or meat, chicken, none of these.
    via u/Remote-Narwhal5726
  • 07
    I talked with my agency here and they told me that the family is alowed to do that as long as they give me food, and i can try to match with another family, and wait for the process, or go back home. I don't want to give up so i stayed.
    via u/Remote-Narwhal5726
  • 08
    But the food thing was really getting to me, so i started to use the money to put things in my cabinet. The problem it's that they are super healthy, and they don't let their kids eat Chips Ahoy, Pringles, beef jerky, stuff like that.
    via u/Remote-Narwhal5726
  • 09
    Cheezburger Image 10505583104
    via Rob Byron's Images

    This image is for illustration only, and the subjects are models; the image does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 10
    I wasn't trying to eat in front of the kids on purpose. But i spend most of my day with them (when they aren't in their classes), and i get hungry, so i eat in front of them, and they started to ask me to eat too.
    via u/Remote-Narwhal5726
  • 11
    My money doesn't get me very far, my parents have no way of helping me, and these snacks can last for days when i pace myself, so i just told them they would need to ask their parents for snacks cause i didn't have a lot to share.
    via u/Remote-Narwhal5726
  • 12
    Cheezburger Image 10505583360
    via cottonbro studio from Pexels

    This image is for illustration only, and the subjects are models; the image does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 13
    They did, and their mom blew up at me (in front of them), telling me that i had a lot of audacity denying her kids food inside her home, that if i ate in front of them, i had to share, and that i couldn't bring this kind of junk into her home. I couldn't really say
    via u/Remote-Narwhal5726
  • 14
    anything in fear of her just dumping me on the street, but i told had i didn't have enough money to buy an amount that i could share with her kids, or buy healthier, and that i would really like to share mine if they shared theirs - i meant the food the family eats, i dont ask the kids for their snacks or food ever.
    via u/Remote-Narwhal5726
  • 15
    She said i was lucky she really needed a nanny and that's it. I told my parents about it and they thing she's wrong but that i am too for how I dealt with it, and for taking it out on the kids when it's not their fault. My AuPair friends also think AH for denying food to little kids. AITA? And WIBDA, if i kept buying junk even after she told me they aren't allowed in her home?
    via u/Remote-Narwhal5726

  • Um, what? You can absolutely deny your own food to little kids; they need to learn about boundaries and how to handle being told “no.” 

  • 16
    Worth-Season3645 NTA...You are in the US? And a family is treating you like this? And your agency is doing nothing to help you? You are allowed nothing other than what is in your cabinet? What do you drink? Water? How do
    via u/Worth-Season3645
  • 17
    you feed the kids? Are you allowed to eat the same lunch? Do they share dinner? And now they want you to share the snacks you buy with your money, the little that they give you, with their children?
    via u/Worth-Season3645
  • 18
    This sounds like a Law and Order episode. You are essentially a slave and I sincerely doubt this is legal. I would tell this agency they better do something fast to match you with a family and they need to better do background checks for n the parents they hire for or you will be blasting them all over social media.
    via u/Worth-Season3645
  • 19
    I would be telling those parents that you have to wonder how their co-workers would feel if they found out how you treated. In fact, I think you should start a "Nanny horror Stories" insta page.
    via u/Worth-Season3645
  • 20
    Remote-Narwhal5726 OP Yes, i am in the US, but with everyones comments i'm starting to think that maybe is better to go back home than stay here waiting for a new match...
    via u/Remote-Narwhal5726
  • 21
    I'm only allowed the cabinet things, that's why i buy junk foods, i don't feel that my food will be safe if i put in the fridge, or that they wont say i'm stealing from them. I cook for the kids, they eat fruits and healty snacks. They share dinners and breakfast most days, i eat before or after then, depending on how busy the work was.
    via u/Remote-Narwhal5726

  • Our protagonist needs to get out of this situation really fast. It's crazy that she's not getting any real food and then expected to share what little she buys for herself. 

  • 22
    crossstitchbeotch They are NOT providing you with enough food. You should be allowed to eat whatever the family eats. Keep calling the agency and ask to speak to a higher up until they do something about this.
    via u/crossstitchbeotch
  • 23
    EmceeSuzy You are NTA but since your agency will not help (which is a disgrace) you need to leave.
    via u/EmceeSuzy
  • 24
    I am surprised that a diet of nothing but shelf stable foods would be considered appropriate. That tells me that your agency is garbage.
    via u/EmceeSuzy
  • 25
    chjoas3 NTA and please find a new family. I was an au pair when I was young and couldn't stand up for myself. I was working 50-60 hour weeks. Doing the whole family's laundry including towels and bedsheets, ironing the father's designer shirts, picking up parents dirty underwear that they left on the
    via u/chjoas3
  • 26
    bathroom floor, making breakfast, packed lunches, and hot dinners mon-Fri for the whole family. I was just the help. However, two of my friends had host families who had them as part of the family, loved them, invited them out on trips and visited them later in their home countries.
    via u/chjoas3
  • 27
    SaturdaysaremyFav2 NTA. Either go home or find another family to match with. These people are taking advantage of you & it probably won't get better.
    via u/SaturdaysaremyFav2

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childcare hungry babysitter entitled parents job students toxic parenting babysitting dad workplace family red flag mom parents entitled people
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